What Happens If One Partner Refuses to Attend Couples Therapy in a Virtual Intensive Outpatient Program?

Couples facing addiction, mental health struggles, or co-occurring disorders often reach a breaking point where professional support is not just helpful—it’s essential. For many, enrolling in a virtual intensive outpatient program (IOP) offers the ideal blend of structured therapy, flexibility, and expert guidance, all from the comfort of home. These programs frequently include both individual and couples therapy to address not just the individual’s symptoms, but the dynamics of the relationship itself. But what happens when one partner refuses to participate in couples therapy, even as the other is fully committed?

At Trinity Behavioral Health, we recognize that not every partner will be ready—or willing—to engage in therapy together. Our virtual intensive outpatient program is designed to meet clients where they are, offering tailored support regardless of whether one or both partners are actively involved. While couples therapy can be a powerful tool for relational healing, it is not a requirement for progress. In this article, we explore how our virtual IOP handles situations where one partner opts out, what the implications are for the relationship, and how the participating partner can still benefit and grow.

Understanding the Role of Couples Therapy in a Virtual IOP

A virtual intensive outpatient program typically offers a variety of therapeutic services designed to help individuals manage addiction, mental health issues, or both. In cases where participants are in a committed relationship, many programs—like the one at Trinity Behavioral Health—extend the option for couples therapy.

Couples therapy within a virtual IOP serves to:

• Improve communication and emotional regulation

• Address codependency or enabling behaviors

• Heal relational trauma or infidelity

• Align recovery goals between partners

• Prevent relapse caused by conflict or emotional stress

However, it is important to note that couples therapy is optional, not mandatory. It is offered as a beneficial resource but is never forced upon either partner.

Reasons One Partner May Refuse Couples Therapy

It can be deeply frustrating when one partner is willing to engage in therapy and the other is not. But the refusal is often rooted in fear, past trauma, or misunderstandings about what therapy entails. Common reasons include:

• Fear of blame or confrontation

• Unresolved trauma or trust issues

• Disinterest in changing relationship dynamics

• Lack of belief in therapy’s effectiveness

• Shame, guilt, or denial about personal responsibility

• Feeling it’s “not their problem” if the other partner is in treatment

Understanding the “why” behind the refusal is crucial. At Trinity Behavioral Health, therapists help clients unpack these dynamics with compassion and clarity.

What Happens When Only One Partner Participates?

When one partner opts out of couples therapy, it doesn’t mean progress halts. In fact, individual therapy within the virtual IOP continues as planned, with an emphasis on helping the attending partner:

1. Focus on Personal Healing and Boundaries

Even without couples sessions, individuals can:

• Explore their own emotional responses

• Learn to set and maintain healthy boundaries

• Reduce codependency and develop independence

• Manage triggers and emotions related to the relationship

• Shift focus from “fixing the relationship” to “healing the self”

This internal work often results in visible change within the relationship—even if the other partner isn’t in therapy.

2. Address Relationship Issues in Individual Therapy

At Trinity Behavioral Health, clients are encouraged to bring relationship topics into their individual therapy. This allows therapists to:

• Help clients understand patterns in their relationships

• Teach conflict de-escalation and communication strategies

• Role-play tough conversations

• Support decision-making about the relationship’s future

This keeps relational healing on the table—even if it’s only one partner at a time.

3. Revisit the Idea of Couples Therapy Later

Just because a partner refuses initially doesn’t mean they won’t reconsider. With time, education, and exposure to the positive changes their partner is making, some individuals become open to participating later in the IOP or in aftercare.

Trinity’s therapists are trained to offer gentle invitations, provide education about what therapy involves, and offer flexible scheduling to reduce resistance.

4. Engage in Other Forms of Support

When couples therapy isn’t an option, alternative supports may include:

• Family therapy (with other family members)

• Support groups for spouses or family of those in recovery

• Peer support groups like Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, or CODA

• Self-help literature on relationships, trauma, and boundaries

These resources can supplement individual therapy and provide much-needed community and perspective.

Can a Relationship Survive If Only One Partner Seeks Help?

Yes—but with qualifications. Many relationships evolve when one partner begins to heal. Sometimes the relationship becomes healthier, with one person modeling better behaviors and communication. Other times, the disparity in emotional growth creates a divide that’s difficult to bridge.

Trinity Behavioral Health supports clients in either outcome. Our clinicians help you explore:

• Whether the relationship aligns with your new goals and values

• How to navigate change when your partner remains stagnant

• When to work on staying vs. when to consider letting go

• How to protect your peace while honoring your connection

The goal is not to pressure a certain outcome, but to empower clarity and confidence in your decisions.

The Importance of Autonomy in Therapy

While couples therapy can be transformational, forcing a partner to participate often backfires. Therapy is most effective when both parties choose to engage voluntarily. That’s why at Trinity Behavioral Health, we prioritize autonomy, consent, and readiness.

What we do offer is:

• Education for the non-participating partner

• Invitations to attend one or two trial sessions

• Opportunities to join family or psychoeducation groups

• Ongoing check-ins about shifting readiness

This approach respects each individual’s journey while keeping the door open for future collaboration.

How Trinity Behavioral Health Supports the Willing Partner

If you’re in a relationship where your partner refuses to attend couples therapy, you are not alone. Our virtual intensive outpatient program offers:

• Trauma-informed individual therapy

• Relationship coaching and boundary work

• Peer support from others in similar situations

• Empowerment to pursue your recovery, regardless of your partner’s choice

• Referral options for couples therapy later if interest changes

We help you grow into the version of yourself that can lead, not drag—and build a life you’re proud of, whether your partner comes along or not.

Conclusion: Growth Doesn’t Require Two, But It Can Inspire Two

It’s natural to feel disheartened when your partner refuses to participate in couples therapy—especially when you’re working so hard to change, heal, and grow. But the truth is this: your healing is still valid, powerful, and transformative, even if your partner isn’t ready to join you.

At Trinity Behavioral Health, our virtual intensive outpatient program is designed to support individuals at every stage of recovery—whether you’re walking with a partner or walking ahead of them. You have the right to focus on your well-being, establish boundaries, and make decisions rooted in self-respect and clarity.

Often, the changes one partner makes can inspire the other to grow. And if not? You’ll still be on the path to becoming the healthiest version of yourself. That’s always worth it.

FAQs About Couples Therapy and Partner Refusal in Virtual IOPs

1. Can I still attend the virtual IOP if my partner refuses to participate?

Yes. Trinity Behavioral Health’s virtual IOP is designed for individuals, with optional couples therapy. You can fully participate and benefit even if your partner opts out.

2. Will my therapist try to convince my partner to join?

Your therapist may offer education and extend an open invitation, but we never pressure or coerce anyone into therapy. Participation must be voluntary to be effective.

3. Can relationship issues be addressed without couples therapy?

Absolutely. Your individual sessions can focus on relationship concerns, boundaries, communication skills, and self-empowerment.

4. What if my partner changes their mind later—can we start couples therapy mid-program?

Yes. If your partner becomes open to joint therapy during the IOP, we can incorporate couples sessions as part of your treatment plan, pending clinical approval.

5. Is it common for only one partner to seek therapy?

Yes. Many relationships experience one partner starting their healing journey first. Growth can still happen—and sometimes inspires others to follow.

Read: How do virtual intensive outpatient programs handle conflicts between partners?

Read: Do virtual intensive outpatient programs provide structured relationship exercises?