What if One of Us Is More Motivated to Recover Than the Other—Can Rehab for Couples Still Help?

Understanding Motivation Differences in Couples Rehab

When a couple enters rehab together, it’s common for one partner to be more motivated than the other. One person may be fully committed to recovery, while the other may feel uncertain, resistant, or pressured into treatment.

At Trinity Behavioral Health, rehab programs are designed to meet each partner where they are in their recovery journey. Whether both partners are equally committed or one is struggling with motivation, structured therapy, individualized support, and relationship-focused interventions can help them align their goals and work toward lasting sobriety together.

See: Rehab for Couples

Why One Partner May Be Less Motivated Than the Other

Different Readiness Stages in Recovery

Couples often enter rehab at different stages of readiness. According to the Stages of Change Model, individuals may be in one of the following stages:

• Precontemplation – Unaware of or unwilling to acknowledge a substance use problem.
• Contemplation – Aware of the issue but not fully committed to change.
• Preparation – Considering taking action soon.
• Action – Actively working on recovery.
• Maintenance – Sustaining long-term sobriety.

If one partner is in the action stage while the other is still in precontemplation or contemplation, conflicts may arise. Trinity Behavioral Health helps couples bridge this gap by using therapies that increase awareness, motivation, and commitment.

Denial or Fear of Change

Some individuals may struggle with denial, believing their addiction is not severe or that they can control it without treatment. Others may fear losing their coping mechanism, facing painful emotions, or dealing with relationship issues that may surface during rehab.

At Trinity Behavioral Health, therapists help resistant partners explore their concerns, fears, and emotional barriers to encourage a mindset shift.

External Pressures to Enter Rehab

One partner may have entered rehab due to family pressure, legal consequences, or an ultimatum from their significant other. This can lead to resentment, resistance, or passive participation in treatment.

Trinity Behavioral Health addresses this by fostering open communication, self-reflection, and personal accountability, ensuring that both partners find their own reasons to commit to recovery.

How Trinity Behavioral Health Supports Couples with Different Levels of Motivation

Individualized Treatment Plans

Each partner at Trinity Behavioral Health receives a personalized treatment plan that considers their unique challenges, mental health needs, and motivation level.

Treatment options include:

• Motivational Interviewing (MI) – Helps hesitant partners explore their reasons for change.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – Addresses negative thought patterns and addictive behaviors.
• Trauma-Informed Therapy – Supports partners with past emotional wounds that may contribute to resistance.
• Dual Diagnosis Treatment – Helps individuals struggling with both addiction and mental health disorders.

By tailoring treatment to each person’s readiness level, the program ensures that both partners receive the support they need to grow at their own pace.

Couples Therapy to Strengthen Commitment

When one partner is more motivated than the other, relationship strain can develop. Couples therapy at Trinity Behavioral Health focuses on:

• Addressing emotional disconnects.
• Developing shared recovery goals.
• Encouraging open and honest communication.
• Helping the more motivated partner set healthy boundaries.

By improving relationship dynamics, therapy increases mutual commitment to recovery and prevents one partner from feeling like they are carrying the weight alone.

Building Internal Motivation Through Therapy

Instead of forcing motivation, Trinity Behavioral Health uses evidence-based methods to help reluctant partners find their own reasons to recover.

Therapies that build intrinsic motivation include:

• Motivational Enhancement Therapy (MET) – Helps individuals explore personal values and goals.
• Experiential Therapy – Engages individuals in real-life experiences that highlight the benefits of sobriety.
• Peer Support Groups – Allows couples to connect with others who have successfully navigated different motivation levels in rehab.

These approaches shift the focus from external pressures to internal desire for change, making recovery more sustainable.

Preventing Resentment in Unevenly Motivated Couples

Encouraging Patience and Understanding

The more motivated partner may feel frustrated or discouraged if their significant other is not as committed. However, pressuring or criticizing a hesitant partner can backfire.

At Trinity Behavioral Health, therapists help the committed partner:

• Understand their loved one’s struggles.
• Avoid controlling behaviors.
• Celebrate small progress rather than expecting immediate change.

Establishing Healthy Boundaries

If one partner is committed to sobriety while the other remains resistant, it’s crucial to set boundaries to protect the progress of the more motivated partner.

Therapists at Trinity Behavioral Health guide couples in establishing:

• Clear expectations for recovery.
• Boundaries to prevent enabling behavior.
• Strategies for handling relapse risks.

Boundaries are not about controlling the other person but ensuring that both individuals are accountable for their own recovery.

What If One Partner Becomes More Motivated Over Time?

It’s common for motivation levels to change throughout the rehab process. Some reluctant partners gradually become more engaged after experiencing small wins, emotional breakthroughs, or peer encouragement.

At Trinity Behavioral Health, flexible treatment plans allow couples to adjust their approach as their recovery progresses, ensuring that even initially resistant partners receive ongoing motivation and support.

When Is Individual Treatment a Better Option?

While couples rehab can help partners with different motivation levels, there are cases where separate treatment might be necessary, such as:

• If one partner is actively sabotaging the other’s recovery.
• If there is ongoing abuse, manipulation, or codependency.
• If one person is completely unwilling to participate in any form of treatment.

Trinity Behavioral Health helps couples assess the best course of action and provides both joint and individual treatment options.

Conclusion

It’s normal for one partner to be more motivated than the other when entering rehab. At Trinity Behavioral Health, treatment programs are designed to help reluctant partners build internal motivation while supporting the more committed partner in setting healthy boundaries.

Through individualized care, couples therapy, and motivational strategies, couples can bridge the gap in motivation levels and work together toward lasting recovery. Even if one partner starts off hesitant, they can still grow into their commitment with the right support.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What if one of us is more motivated to recover than the other—can rehab for couples still help?
A: Yes. Trinity Behavioral Health provides tailored treatment plans, motivational therapy, and couples counseling to help reluctant partners engage in the recovery process.

Q: What if my partner doesn’t want to be in rehab at all?
A: If one partner refuses to participate, the more motivated partner can attend treatment individually while receiving guidance on setting healthy boundaries.

Q: How can I encourage my partner to take rehab seriously?
A: The best approach is to lead by example, avoid pressure or ultimatums, and allow therapists at Trinity Behavioral Health to use motivational techniques to help them engage.

Q: Can different motivation levels cause problems in our relationship during rehab?
A: Yes, but therapy at Trinity Behavioral Health helps couples navigate frustration, prevent resentment, and develop shared recovery goals.

Q: What if my partner becomes more motivated later in treatment?
A: Motivation often improves as individuals experience progress, therapy breakthroughs, and peer support, and Trinity Behavioral Health adjusts treatment to match evolving commitment levels.